I've read many books that are supposed to prepare you for parenthood. I've also read a lot of parenting websites and their advice on how to adjust to being a new parent, the first or second time.
These reputable and wise sources will often say, "Make sure you make time for you". The sources may even go as far as suggesting that you should "read a book", "call a friend" or "take a warm bath". (Are the people who write these things even parents?)
Now when I was a mother of one, this "alone time" was during nap. I often looked forward to nap time and even had the opportunity to long for my one-and-only to wake up, just so I could see him.
Juggling two is a completely different story. The siblings have plotted and agreed to only sleep if the other one is either ready to wake up, or is awake and doesn't plan on sleeping for at least two hours.
On the rare occasions that they are asleep at the same time (which is usually a lapse of 15 minutes; how do you think I have time to write this?) I begin to frantically fly around the house trying to catch up on laundry and usually our only substantial meal of the day, which is dinner. The food prep usually starts around 11a.m. and is frequently not even complete by the time my husband comes home somewhere around 5p.m.
This chaos, with children not sleeping and my house NEEDING to be somewhat organized so I myself don't go completely crazy has often lead to fantasies.
When I throw that word out there, I'm sure many people would immediately think of this as something naughty.
I'm talking about the kind of fantasies that frequent a stay-at-home mom's brain.
I fantasize often about my life BK (Before Kids). It's not that I truly wish I didn't have my babies-I love them, but I do often look back on my life BK and think, "I didn't appreciate sleeping in enough", Or, "Remember the Saturdays where I used to wake up late, go leisure shopping and grab coffee with a friend? All this before catching a nap before heading out for evening plans with my girls."
Some women fantasize about being with other people, but I just fantasize about being by myself.
So I'm raising my coffee-tumbler (which by now has cold coffee in it) to all the mamas who have squeezed into their coat closet, shut the door and breathed the air of "alone time" even if it's for a few short minutes.
