Homeschool-1

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Homeschooling, Take One!

While I’m waiting patiently, trying to wait patiently, for my body to heal and work out all my Candida-loveliness…I decided to take a moment to talk about my kids because they’re pretty cute.

Malachi (Kai) is four and Audrina (Drina or Drins) will be three in March. We decided to homeschool for a lot of reasons. I can get all passionate and on a soap-box but I won’t do that because I love my friends and respect the fact that every family chooses what is right for them to do as far as school choices. 

I do have to brag on our curriculum however. I started reading to our children when they were babies. When they were still a mushy lump on my lap I would read to them children’s books and include different voices for each character. They would sit and drool and stare wide-eyed at the next page as if they couldn’t believe yet ANOTHER new picture was in front of them.

As a result, my boy LOVES books! I don’t mean just this every once in a while, “hey, will you please read this book to me?” phase, this boy LOVES books!

So when considering homeschooling, it seemed so natural to start with Sonlight Curriculum. You can read more about it here. When I watched some of the  "Sonlighter Stories" for the first time I started crying (yeah, I do that) because it felt like the answer I had been so frantically trying to find. It felt like coming home.

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It’s all literature based. We are currently going through the P3/P4 Core. Every day we get to read stories that we have never read before. We get to have in-depth discussions about how things work, and how things grow and how different people live differently. And the difference between pretend and something real. All the things that get my boy excited, we get to explore.

I love it when people ask me, “How is homeschooling going?” I get to respond, “It’s the best fifteen minutes of our day!” Ha-ha-ha. Not because I want school to get over with quickly. If we need more time-we take it! But because kids are little, squirmy, balls of energy and need to MOVE more than they SIT, School is usually complete in fifteen minutes or so.

The rest of our day is filled with coloring, drawing, play-doh, building forts, and more and more discussions about life, finding the sounds that letters make, and singing…lots of singing in this house.

Here is a quote from a book we read this week titled, Petunia "Now I understand. It was not enough to carry wisdom under my wing. I must put it in my mind and in my heart. And to do that I must learn to read." -Roger Duvoisin

And yes, this is a pic of my children sharing a book we own, with my younger one “reading” to my older one.

My heart is overflowing; my hands will do the work. I know my God is knowing where in the end I’ll perch. Take time to see the path, on which you’re on today. Don’t worry about tomorrow, He’s already there, He’s there always. -C.A. Dixon

Candida Livin'

Candida Livin’

So I’ve been on the Candida diet for six days now (that’s right, I am so desperate to feel better I started Christmas morning with eggs, steamed spinach and a big glass of water!).

I’ve noticed a few things.

First of all, I’m hungry, but not actually body-hungry…head-hungry. I had a dream right before I woke up one morning and I was dreaming about Pip’sDonuts. I could actually taste the Nutella and Sea salt on my lips. I almost started crying last night as I watched a commercial about chocolate chip cookies because I knew I couldn’t eat one. Lol! It seems humorous now, but it was very real in the moment.

I’m not sure how much my cravings have to do with my condition or how much of it is just a “me” thing. I’ve always been a girl who LOVES food…and I’m not picky either. I can eat mac and cheese cold out of the fridge after it was cooked two nights ago, or dine on a tasty wine with fresh grilled veggies and a prime-cut steak.

I have started feeding my children differently too, or at least with more focus. I’ve always been pretty strict about sugar, juices or any “unnecessary” extras in their diet. But I do allow treats and I try to make sure they’re just that…a treat. However I realized I started doing silly things, like putting agave on their buttered toast EVERY morning, hot cocoa has been a regular for the last couple weeks and I’ve allowed cookies after lunch every day for a week or so as well. Part of this could simply be the holidays, or it could be me craving sugar more and more and feeling like it would be comforting for my kids to eat too.

I did the “spit” test in a glass of room-temp water. I had my husband do it the next day with me, just to see if there really was a difference and mine definitely looked different than his!

My body hurts, joints ache, I often have a lot of uncomfortable gas-pains and trips to the toilet are not pleasant. I have experienced cold sweats, hot-flashes, aches and overall “ick” feeling. But I’m determined and if I didn’t feel like I might feel better after this part is over, I wouldn’t have the strength to go on.

The ONLY perk about all of this is that I’m finding foods I love, and I’ve lost almost ten pounds in a week. My body is definitely freaking out as I restrict any sugar, carbs, fruits and some veggies. Detoxing (truly detoxing-and not one of those “I drank a bunch of salt water and sat on the toilet for two days and feel SO much better thanks to my new skinny-jeans!”) is hard! Especially with two little kids running around demanding a lot of your time and attention.

My home-made tomato soup ready to freeze.

I’m pressing on! Finding things to look forward to other than my next meal. And I couldn’t be more thankful for my husband who is very understanding as our refrigerator is taken over by fresh-pureed tomato soup, and very little of what he would prefer to be eating.

One day at a time…

Can you Candida?

Can you Candida?

My brain is clicking and my fingers have been itching to get this all out, so I’m choosing this avenue.

Truth is, I’ve been sick…sick for a long time. For the past ten months I’ve been struggling with nausea on and off. It’s debilitating. I never know when it will strike. I never know if I will wake up and if it will be a “good” day or a “bad” day due to how I’m feeling.

My symptoms are mostly intestinal. I’ve had an endoscopy, colonoscopy, gone on meds, gone off meds, taken Zofran, worn sea-bands, tried essential oils, and am currently working with a Gastroenterologist and a Naturopath Physician.

During the visit to the Naturopath, he discovered my heart most likely has a valve that isn’t closing all the way and causing my heart to beat “musically” (as he put it). Not that I mind feeling musical from the inside out, but this has NOTHING to do with my nausea or GI symptoms, so I get the joy of adding this to my “basket” of physical ailments.

The Naturopath also asked me to fill out a questionnaire that was titled “It May be a Yeast Problem”. The high score for women is 180 and over, my score was 352.

I now may have self-diagnosed that I’m possibly struggling with a yeast-overgrowth and might be battling Candida.

My family and I are exhausted. We need me to be running at full-capacity if possible. I’m so tired of being tired. I’m so tired of not knowing what is going on with my body. I’m putting this out there so others might join me, give advice, pray for me, and maybe I will touch someone’s life who is also struggling with unknown health issues.

So pray with me as we continue to pour our hope, finances and time into searching for some definitive results.

Thanks for your time!   

We're Here

We're Here

An Annual Update

I figured it was time for my annual post. In this moment I have a 2.5 year old pulling on my leg saying, "Mommy, can you pick-me-up-me???" 

It's life.

Some exciting things have happened, my husband started working a job that actually uses his degree...it's pretty amazing. Not because I doubted at any point whether or not this would happen, but because he's one of the few people who graduated from college and is actually using his degree (ahem, myself included).

And, we made the decision to home-school our older child, Kai, for pre-school this year. It blows my mind that we're at that point already, but so far it's been awesome.
We're using Sonlight Curriculum, for those of you who are interested. It's going to work well because I have a kid who can be a mellow-guy, and two kids who love books. And this kid, LOVES books! 

Because of my husband's (relatively new) job, everything this summer has been spontaneous. We only know his schedule six weeks in advance and even then it can change. But it's been a really wonderful summer. 
We have gone camping-once. (In the past we've tried it with our very young children and I think we got pretty scared at the idea of being trapped in the rain, inside a tent, with two crying, dirty kids...again.).  
We do our best to really enjoy Portland, we visit local parks, splash pads, museums (Child-friendly for now...I'm not sure the Art Museum would appreciate a loud "Mom! I have to go poop-poop" in the middle of a gallery). 
Even though the planner side of me wasn't very satisfied this summer, it has felt nice to relax and "see what happens" for one of the first times in my life. 

I'm slowly learning these lessons of striving for balance, even now that I'm in my thirties I'm still experiencing something new. It's nice to know that will never end. Some lessons are sad, some lessons are happy, and all of them hold some element of surprise. 

Yeah, I'm Really Consistent With Blogging...


I had no idea it has been almost a year since I've touched my blog. Time truly has flown by. And things have changed! 
I have a husband who not only survived but graduated nursing school in June. I have two children who currently nap at the same time during the day, every day, and I thank God for my "Mommy Quiet Time".
We welcomed a new little girl into our lives three days a week which we are enjoying her company, and overall the friendship of this family we are delighted to be sharing our lives with weekly. 

The biggest thing on my mind lately is babies. Are we done at two??? That's the huge, resounding, "can't get it out of my head" kind of question lately. The reason this has thrown me for such a loop is because I'm dead-centered, in the middle with my thoughts on this.
 There are pros and cons to either side of trying for a third, or just staying where we're at.

The Pros
We have a boy and a girl. Not everyone's dream, I realize, but it has definitely been my granted wish.

 Four fit nicely into cars, vacation packages and restaurants. It's just the truth. With only four of us, we never have to worry about one kid left out on carnival rides, paying for an extra kid in a hotel room, or "nope, there's no WAY we're all going to fit in THAT car."

Equal "Mommy and Daddy Dates". We can easily switch kids and have kid-dates that are solely focused on them. Our time won't yet again be divided into, "Okay, who's week is it this time?" 

For Sanity's Sake. We (my husband and myself) know a LOT of families who have a large number of children (we're talking 5+ kids). And we all have noticed a consistent trend with MOST of these families...that the mom's tend to be a little on the batty side. 

Now don't get me wrong, some of these moms seemed to have needed most of the kids to leave the nest and they recovered nicely from staring at the wall and drooling into their cold coffee, but some...have not. I'm not sure I want to risk being one of those moms that completely looses herself for decades only to discover it's too hard to remember who she was before and can't recover from that. 

Birth (and really the three months after that when you're in the fog of no sleep). Need I say much more? I experienced a C-section and then a VBAC (look it up if you don't know what I'm talking about). I feel like I've truly experienced all the birth I want to experience.

The Cons

It's strange for our family culture. We both come from families of four and five children. Stopping at two feels so foreign to our culture and to what we always said we wanted pre-marriage and up until this point in our lives.

Who would they be? We will never get to see what a third baby would look like, who they would be, or the joy we would experience in simply delighting from the inside out in how that child is growing and what they discover daily. 

Will it mess up my older children's relationship with each other? My kiddos are about 20 months apart, and although there's more arguing than you think there might be between a 3 and a 1.5 year old, they are truly the best of friends.

Will it put more pressure on my marriage?   Mmmmmm...k...

Three kids are hard to juggle. My husband and I are considering home-schooling our children, at least for a time. We both agree we're both more of a "three plate-spinning" type of person and not someone who is type A enough to spin fifteen plates at a time. Is adding a third kid like adding five more "plates"?

As I've been thinking about all these things over the past couple months (a couple months ago was the only point in time I could even THINK about the possibility of having a third child)...I realized something new today. Whether we end up having a third, or a thirteenth, there's something deeply engraved on my heart and who I am, where I consider a large part of my identity to come from, in being a mom. When that is final, when we say, "Okay, we're done." I am going to need to make room to mourn that "loss". 

Not that there aren't wonderful things ahead. Not that there aren't seeing your children grow and discover and struggle and become these people right in front of you, but that stage of my life...where I grow human beings and complain about how much I hurt during pregnancy and give birth to this precious little baby...will be over. 

Will you join me in making room in your life? Whether it's making room for someone's child coming into your home three days a week, making room for your own new baby who is going to arrive soon, or making room for complex thoughts and feelings, it's good to stretch out and take a moment to breathe. Even if the breathing part hurts a little.

Body Strong

Body Strong

When you're a teenager, you start to notice your physical appearance more. You finally clamber over the hurdle you face from age nine to about twelve where you look back at pictures of yourself and think, "Did I even own a hairbrush?" 

After you start brushing your hair and maybe experimenting with makeup, you begin to also notice things you like and you don't like about the way you look.

From teen-hood and into our twenties, women often strive for a goal with their physical shape. A lot of women strive for that "perfect" size and for the first time, many of us understand the concept of "skinny jeans". 

We purchase these jeans in our twenties and never get rid of them. We keep them either as a memento of how thin we once were, for some the jeans are a goal to achieve again someday. 

And for others, on a very sad Saturday night they are just a pair of jeans you end up burying your face into while you cry about the boy who broke your heart and how it truly is the end of the world because not only is your heart broken, but you will never fit into these jeans again!!!

I was definitely a "size-achiever" kind of girl until I had my second baby. The first one didn't really do any awesome damage to my body. My bellybutton was always one of my favorite features (don't ask me why, it's strange I know) probably because it went well with my once flat stomach. Anyway, my bellybutton popped like a turkey timer on Thanksgiving around week 25 with my first pregnancy and will NEVER look the same again. But other than that, I didn't come out with too many scary differences other than gaining a significant amount of weight the first time around.

The second pregnancy made my body look like I had fought a battle with the stretch-mark beast and he won.

After giving birth to this lovely peach that assisted in my new, "you'll never wear even a tankini again" look, I did the unthinkable and started looking at myself in a mirror. 

I didn't go all conservative either, I stood in front of a full length mirror without a stitch of clothes on and decided to take it all in. 

I asked myself what I was proud of. 

I was proud of my strong hips that had carried two babies almost back-to-back.

I was proud of my arms which are able to hold my children and care for my family.

I was even proud of my belly, although scarred and completely different than what I was given BK (Before Kids). 

I began to realize that a woman's body is so amazing! We have an amazing designer who decided to allow birth and life and nourishment to come directly from us.

Women who have children or don't are designed to display strength and beauty, and I felt so much pride to be one of those women.

As I stood there in front of the mirror, I decided to do something about my post-post-baby-weight (I felt I needed to count it twice since I didn't loose the baby-weight from the first pregnancy). But ultimately I decided to leave behind my "perfect size" goals.

I've decided to be more interested in what my body is capable of, and less interested in what it looks like.

After kids, on this side of surgery, my body will never be the same. But I'm okay with that. Why would I want to completely take away the evidence that I've had children? 

These are the scars I bear, this is the size I am and this is where I'm at. So for now, I've decided to be proud of where God has me.

Alone Time...

 

I've read many books that are supposed to prepare you for parenthood. I've also read a lot of parenting websites and their advice on how to adjust to being a new parent, the first or second time. 

These reputable and wise sources will often say, "Make sure you make time for you". The sources may even go as far as suggesting that you should "read a book", "call a friend" or "take a warm bath". (Are the people who write these things even parents?)

Now when I was a mother of one, this "alone time" was during nap. I often looked forward to nap time and even had the opportunity to long for my one-and-only to wake up, just so I could see him.

Juggling two is a completely different story. The siblings have plotted and agreed to only sleep if the other one is either ready to wake up, or is awake and doesn't plan on sleeping for at least two hours. 

On the rare occasions that they are asleep at the same time (which is usually a lapse of 15 minutes; how do you think I have time to write this?) I begin to frantically fly around the house trying to catch up on laundry and usually our only substantial meal of the day, which is dinner. The food prep usually starts around 11a.m. and is frequently not even complete by the time my husband comes home somewhere around 5p.m.

 This chaos, with children not sleeping and my house NEEDING to be somewhat organized so I myself don't go completely crazy has often lead to fantasies.

When I throw that word out there, I'm sure many people would immediately think of this as something naughty. 

I'm talking about the kind of fantasies that frequent a stay-at-home mom's brain.

I fantasize often about my life BK (Before Kids). It's not that I truly wish I didn't have my babies-I love them, but I do often look back on my life BK and think, "I didn't appreciate sleeping in enough", Or, "Remember the Saturdays where I used to wake up late, go leisure shopping and grab coffee with a friend? All this before catching a nap before heading out for evening plans with my girls."

Some women fantasize about being with other people, but I just fantasize about being by myself. 

So I'm raising my coffee-tumbler (which by now has cold coffee in it) to all the mamas who have squeezed into their coat closet, shut the door and breathed the air of "alone time" even if it's for a few short minutes.