Candida...One Month Later

Candida…One Month Later    

      

Here I am a month into taking Fluconazole in high (but monitored) doses, drinking a gut-healing smoothie nearly every morning, taking probiotics and supplements for vitamins I’m deficient in.

So how do I feel?

I know my journey is not over, but I feel SOOOO much better!

I have episodes of not feeling well but my “not feeling well” pales in comparison to my night-sweats, sit on the toilet, praying to Jesus I don’t start throwing up, experiences.

 My body still can’t handle two things at the same time very well. My menstrual cycle being one of them, or when I have a cold. But I suspect these things will get easier and easier the more I begin healing.

 I’m here to encourage you. If you feel like something is wrong and you don’t know what it is. Please don’t give up. Don’t settle for feeling terrible. Keep pursuing it and hopefully you’ll speak to a doctor who knows what you’re going through.

I have a lot of friends who have been diagnosed with Candida and they’re so frustrated because they can’t live like other people.

In my opinion, it should be treated like a chronic disease until there is complete healing and balance of the overgrowth.

It’s a marathon, not a sprint.

If you want to do a Candida Spit Test, check out this link here

   https://www.candidayeastinfection.com/candida-test-how-to-tell-if-you-have-candida/

Candida Struggles are Real

Four years ago, I was beginning to heal my gut. I was doing everything by the book and I was determined to “not feel sick anymore”.

A month later I would feel on top of the world! Free of all Candida symptoms. No more nausea, no more bloating, no more fatigue, my brain fog (it’s a real thing) was GONE! I felt energetic, strong and I was sleeping better than I ever had.

Then, in March, three months into not one, single, cheat-day, cheat-food, cheat-bite-of-anything…we found out I was pregnant with our third and last baby.

I went off the Candida diet because I kept losing weight due to the pregnancy nausea and all I wanted was a saltine cracker.

I didn’t stray completely off the path. I ate healthy meals and still stayed away from sugar. Even though I had extra fluid like all my other pregnancies, I gained a very healthy amount of weight. (I guess sometimes you figure more out with each kid you have).

Here I am, almost exactly four years from my first meal of plain eggs with spinach and I’m in so much pain and discomfort and exhaustion.

I’m committed to working with my naturopath. I’m back on my strict diet. The only thing I can’t let go of yet is my one cup of caffeinated coffee in the morning with my sugar-free creamer.

 I have waves of hope and they inevitably come crashing down again when I wrestle with nausea, and sweat and cramp until the wee hours of the morning before finally experiencing relief and falling into bed for a couple, short, hours before my children wake.

I’m struggling with fighting against the yeast-overgrowth and accepting that I am, indeed, a “sick mom”.

It’s an interesting burden to bear. I have empathy with the so many who struggle with any kind of food sensitivity or restriction.

I keep holding tightly to Jesus. I do my best to “cast all my cares” on Him and remember the truth-He will never leave me.

Perma-camping...

*Note about this post. This originally was written on 8/14/17. Time has gone so quickly in some ways. We're now enjoying our first home but it's so good to remember what we've walked through.

Life in a trailer...

Over a year ago we discovered we would need to leave the home we loved.

It was only our second rental in ten years of marriage. It has been the home we brought all three of our babies home to, hosted countless celebrations, and created endless memories in.

We discovered we would need to move on because the ten acres we've been enjoying for almost nine years would be sold and developed.

Rental prices in Portland, OR are getting ridiculous. And it was frustrating to think of renting something for so much money when a mortgage for the same price could buy us a house.

We house hunted and put in some offers. Even though we have a steady income and no debt (that's right, no car payment, student loans or credit cards) we still kept experiencing buyers who were willing to pay more than asking, with cash.

An opportunity arose for us to move in with my maternal grandmother and assist her in her home so she could live there in her final days (she's ninety-nine-years-old in September) and we in turn could have somewhere to go for the time being.

We committed to the move. We sold a lot of our times, and gave even more of them away, we cleaned and scrubbed and organized and painted away the main rooms of forty years worth of stuff, dust, and expired food (we spent fifteen hours alone on the kitchen!)

We planned on living in the home for at least two years.

My father runs a business out of the home as well and is present three to four days a week.

We moved in at the end of April and things turned sour very, very, quickly.

There was verbal abuse from my parents, lack of support in care for my Grandmother, and overall became a very toxic environment. We deemed it unsafe for all of us, but especially our three, young children. 

Because people from our church chose to love us, they packed us up (literally pulled things from cupboards, wrapped them and labeled boxes) and got us out in TWO days!

We secured a storage unit, and an 80s travel trailer that is 29 feet long. It was completely mouse-ridden, the toilet leaked (clean, but still...ewwww) water on the brown, shag carpet, and we've had intermittent working water from day one.

We have felt nothing but love and support from our friends and those family members who are not toxic people.

Even in the midst of our emergency evacuation, and with how many tears I cried because cleaning the trailer and putting my babies into an unclean environment felt so overwhelming, I never once regretted our decision to get out.

As my wise husband stated, "This trailer represents freedom and peace."

And it really does. 

Even though it's hard, it's good. Even though I struggle daily to feel like my children and I have a routine (we don't) I would rather be in the dirt, and 29 feet of cramped space than a large home where I jump every time I hear a door open, and I start praying it's not a family member walking over my boundaries and into my space to verbally assault me.

This is also a season, its temporary. There were no places in Portland who could accommodate a family of five for thirty days for under $6,000, trust me, I looked. 

If anyone told me a year ago that this is where I would be, I never would have believed them.

Through this season of hardship (we want to forget so many things about this year)

God keeps reminding me, "You are not alone, and you are loved".

People who know nothing of the details of our situation have been texting and messaging me asking what's going on, because they've been prompted to pray!

I have Bible verses that seem to speak only to me, and I absorb them until they are beating within my chest.

There are so many details and stories that go along with our journey right now, but if you pray to God...keep praying.

If you're also struggling, please know, "You are not alone, and you are loved". 

I Just Need a Moment

I just need a moment to look over this last year, because it went too quickly.

My baby girl, our last baby, is turning one year old on Sunday.

How did this happen???

Last year my swollen belly ached for relief from all the weight of our 8lb. 9oz. girl. (I don’t have small babies).

It was a complicated birth and even more complicated healing process post-birth.

Matt made a job-change a couple weeks before Esther’s birth and because of this, his time off was a blessing, but not as long as I’d hoped.

Adjusting to three came easier most days than I anticipated.

And Esther has always been our “unicorn baby”. We call her this because her forehead was literally shaped like a small unicorn’s horn because of the hours she spent in the birth canal, attempting a “face first” delivery before our unplanned, post-20-hours-of-labor, C-Section.

We also call her this because of her mild temperament and overall joyful behavior. She lays down for naps and bed without much fussing and even when she’s exhausted will go through cycles of happiness after whining through her fatigue.

She is intelligent and has been trying to say words for months now. I can’t believe this fuzzy little baby we welcomed into our lives is already talking and trying to walk.

Our family of five definitely feels complete with her presence and we’re so excited to celebrate her first year of life.

Although I’m sure I will cry a  few tears as I remember this is the last time I will celebrate any of our children’s first year of life, I will forever be grateful that I got to experience this "one last time".

Thank-you for being so good to us “Baby-E”, we love you!

Love, Mommy

 

 

Wrapping up Summer 2015

We’ve had a busy summer and I have loved prepping for the fall.

The kids and I took a few weeks off during the summer from homeschooling, but hit the ground running on July 29^th. My kids love school for the most part. They get excited about all the stories we have the opportunity to read. This year is Kindergarten for Kai and “Kindergarten-ish” for Audrina since she’s such a firecracker and wants to keep up with her big bro.

I love school too. I get excited to read to my children, most of the stories I’m reading are new to me as well and I LOVE their workbooks that I chose this year. They are bringing out good things in both of my kiddos.

Every “first day of school” we try to make it a celebration. This year we went to the Zoo, since it costs one-million-dollars to go on a regular day between the passes and parking, I took advantage of our discounted tickets I’d purchased weeks before on a sale-site.

Box Day! With Sonlight Curriculum

Our annual family photo at the Zoo

A fun way to capture our time by the monkey exhibit

Candida will still occasionally kick me down, and I’m nervous about the third trimester being my most difficult with digestion in general. I will just have to see how things go. I’m on a regimen of antacids for all the awesome heartburn that comes from having your stomach shoved into the upper portion of your esophagus, but for the most part I’m doing okay. Eight weeks and counting! Yay!

The photo I took a couple weeks ago. Week 30!

Matt and I had the (very, very, rare) opportunity to go to the coast BY OURSELVES and do absolutely nothing for two days. It. Was. Amazing! I couldn’t believe how quiet it was. We brought so little on vacation when it was just the two of us, AND I wasn’t prepping or cleaning up a meal every fifteen minutes. Talk about relaxing! We had such wonderful conversation, shared a coffee while we looked out upon the surf while enjoying 65 degrees of a windless evening. Perfection.

As October approaches, I’m realizing just how full the month is getting already. After October wraps up, I feel like it’s “go time” since the baby is due around November 16^th. I’m nervous about the transition, but so ready to see her sweet, little face, and very, very ready to have my body back. There’s no guarantee I won’t continue to live in yoga-pants though…let’s just be realistic. 

Top Pic: Matt and I at the coast for our last "Babymoon" 2015                                                                       Bottom Pic: Matt and I at the coast for our first "Babymoon" 2010

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Candida on Hold, Baby on Board

Candida on Hold, Baby on Board

 

Well, about six months ago I was fighting my battle with Candida with everything I had. Our budget was suffering because I was buying so many fresh vegetables and organic meats. (No one tells you that eating completely clean and healthy will make your budget weep.) We were DOUBLING our food budget for several months when we realized we just couldn’t dump that much money into one category anymore when things were already so tight.

So we reassessed how to still battle Candida AND not push ourselves into debt…and then I found out we would be expecting baby #3 sometime mid-November of this year.

I was training for my first, official (paid for it, got my bib-number and everything) 5K and ran the whole d@*mn race with sore boobs and a body that wanted to quit because I felt so nauseous, but I made it!

I also tried my best to stick to my Candida diet but I ended up losing another five pounds, not because I was vomiting, but because I didn’t want to eat ANYTHING I’d been eating with vigor for the last four months.

I envy the women who can eat all the veggies they want during pregnancy but I’ve never been one of those women. I thought maybe because I was eating so clean that the hormonal part of pregnancy wouldn’t hit me as hard-wrong. 

So wrong.

I incorporated carbs (saltine crackers mostly) and other foods I hadn’t consumed in months back into my eating habits. My body went through a rough transition as I rediscovered carbs and sugars.

So far I’m doing well overall. I’m gaining weight at a VERY healthy rate right now (the first time I haven’t gained seven pounds in a week with any of my pregnancies). I’m enjoying fruit this summer, which I have always loved and missed more than most foods when I was on my strict diet.

The down side is, I still will occasionally have a Candida-attack where I wake up in the middle of the night with raging gas pains, sweat-beads on my forehead and my bum glued to the toilet for two-plus hours or so. The next day involves extreme fatigue and “bowel-rest” (a term I learned from my husband who works as an RN) where I don’t/can’t eat much of anything.

My naturopath doctor told me I could not be on any Fluconozole (sp?) while I’m pregnant OR breast-feeding so I will have to slowly get a hold of my eating habits post-pregnancy and then go back into fighting Candida after I’m done breast feeding #3.

We’re so excited about the baby. We recently found out we will be having another girl. Our other two children were ecstatic when we told them they would have a sibling and have maintained their enthusiasm.

A lot of life right now is less structured and we are taking a “wait and see attitude” about the incoming of a new, little, human, and what our physical health looks like in the future.    

My daughter picking strawberries from our patch

Basil from our garden (it made the BEST pesto!)

Our first gathering of veggies from our garden boxes

My son eating an ice cream, because summer and ice cream go so well together